41 True Facts About The Maldives by Havaadhuli Banas

First published in The Laadheenee Digest #02

  1. There is no freedom of conscience/ belief/thought/religion.
  2. National sport is driving around on motorbikes.
  3. There are no political parties that support minority rights.
  4. Islam is a mandatory subject from grade 1 to 12.
  5. If you are a local it is easier to get heroin than it is to get a beer.
  6. A woman cannot run for president.
  7. More amazing artists than you couldimagine.
  8. Everyone loves American culture and capitalism but hates individual freedoms.
  9. Selling cloth for hijab / niqab is a big business.
  10. Mainstream music copies hindi songs shamelessly.
  11. Everyone hates America.
  12. Everyone hates Israel and “the jews”.
  13. People are extremely paranoid about anything resembling an “idol”.
  14. Everyone is incredibly racist towards Bangladeshis and other expats despite them following the same religion andbeing from the same geographical area.
  15. Everyone speaks Dhivehi, a unique language that is useless outside of the Maldives because nobody else speaks it.
  16. There are racist words people use in regular speech such as “baburu” (Dhivehi n-word, usually means dirty, smelly, or unwashed) and “thifney” (referring to the eyes of East Asians).
  17. Maldivians are completely culturally distinct from Sri Lankans and Indians.
  18. Maldivians like eating sea snails.
  19. Everyone is addicted to coffee andredbull.
  20. Everyone is obsessed with football andthe premiere league.
  21. A lot of Maldivians can’t swim.
  22. Most Maldivians use handlines and notrods to fish.
  23. Most Maldivians believe in Djinn.
  24. Everyone is extremely homophobic.
  25. Most Maldivians are dumb enough tobelieve the “100% Muslim” thing.
  26. Most Maldivian are obsessed with porn and have giant collections on theirharddrives.
  27. Everyone is having sex.
  28. Has the highest divorce rate in theentire world.
  29. There is no proper waste management.
  30. Everyone litters everything everywhere.
  31. Pop stars become extremist pop starsheikhs.
  32. Home to the most delusional film industry in the whole world.
  33. Has one of Asia’s longest servingdictators.
  34. Many Maldivians who grew up during dictatorial times had only one (legal) TV channel growing up.
  35. Everywhere but Male’ is not developed properly
  36. People go to picnics on other islands. If you are rich you go to a resort.
  37. The capital barely has a beach.
  38. People are obsessed with keeping exotic pets.
  39. Everyone is obsessed with technology and has the latest phones.
  40. There are people who drive ferraris and lambos on the tiny capital.
  41. All politics are cult politics. 

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